To Begin Again

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I believed.

I so wanted this blog to work. I so wanted this life to work. But as much as we want to believe we can change the world, and as much as I will attest to the fact that we still can make the world a better place — we mustn’t always feel the onus of carrying the world on our shoulders. And a partner who forces you to do that is not really a partner. We mustn’t pin ourselves to a false reality for the sake of maintaining a relationship we want to believe in.

Strapped down heart

It’s all been madness.

 

We mustn’t let people crust our spirits or re-appropriate our souls, or tell us who we should be or who we should be ashamed of being or why we should be different than we are or how we should change. And if someone does try to do that, then we owe it to ourselves to rethink our “until death do us part” commitment to that someone.

Don’t fear the uncertainties that may ensue. Don’t be afraid of whether that person will be okay or worry you might not be okay or wonder if you’ll ever be loved again. Because you will find a way to muster the power to rise above that asphyxiating love and realize your own self love. It will be difficult, but it will be fine.

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Mu best friend since I was 6. Our faces are crushing each other with love. She gives me powa. Inside. 

We have the power to recreate ourselves, slowly but surely, over and over again. And we’re never alone. On the darkest of nights, you’ll find more strength than you believed possible from your friends and family and from that little spark we all carry within. And you’ll be amazed by the love and support and renewed strength you find when you commit to believe in yourself.

You’ll set the course for doing what you’ve always dreamed of doing. Unbridled and unleashed, you’ll make plans to forge a new path. And one day, you just might get there. But if not, you’ll have proven to yourself that at least you can think differently from that life you committed to give to that person who wanted you to be someone else but whom you so dearly loved. And you’ll find a way to live differently. And you’ll realize that you’re happier when you stop forcing yourself into that other person’s mold and you can start to be…differently.

 

 

And you’ll surprise yourself, and you’ll scare yourself, and you’ll delight yourself, and you’ll learn so much in the process. We owe it to ourselves to surround ourselves with as much beauty and love as we can possibly muster. Because as dire as things may seem sometimes, this world is, at its core, a beautiful place. And we are beautiful. And the essence within us and the aura that surrounds us and the life that awaits us is beautiful. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise, no matter how much you love them.

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I wanted to move here, from NYC to San Diego. So I did.

And to all those romantics out there, rest assured — love does exist. But it doesn’t start when you say your I do’s. It starts when you pledge your allegiance to yourself — when you vow that against all odds, you’ll continue to pursue what feels right and what feels true and what motivates you and what drives you and what empowers you and what you love about the world and what the world loves about you. That, my dear friends, is true beauty., and true life, and true love. It’s here for us, and it surrounds us. We just need to see it.

This will be the last post to this Bridefied chapter of my life. But know that whatever you are going through, and where ever you are, you have the strength to move past it. You will, and you must. And I am here for you. And I believe in you. And I trust in you. And I love you.

To the next chapter. And beyond.

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This entry was published on June 9, 2017 at 12:56 am. It’s filed under The Engagement and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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