Here’s my playlist, for your listening pleasure: Moody Tunes
I always think of music as something you experience when you’re very happy. But it always has the power to quench the soul when you’re devoid of emotion and are looking to feel. Music takes some time, and some effort, and some attention — but like all good things, it’s worth the effort.
I forget how much music soothes me. How much that steady bass guitar seems to fall in step with my internal process, and how those vocals make me feel like I could reach out and touch another soul. I love how music forces me sit, and think, and to listen.
I forget the way my brother and I used to experience music. We played duets at holiday piano concerts throughout our childhood, but the most memorable music experiences I have are when he used to sit me on his bed, get the pillows all fluffed up real nice, turn the lights off, and tell me to relax and listen. I mean really listen. Mostly to the actual words being spoken more so than to the way they’d dance around the harmonic chords to make me feel. But that same meditative and entirely present moment I reveled in as a kid is something I’ve lost sight of over the past year — that spontaneous combustion of emotion you feel when you listen — not just to think, but to imagine, and to enjoy. As much as I love thinking, my brain sustains a forceful barrier between the actuality of day-to-day life with the intangible and imaginative cloud of emotion upon which our true creativity lies. In my quest to be a good worker, I’ve lost sight of the bigger picture and have limited myself to the boundaries of reality. Perfection isn’t everything. Everyone struggles with it, and everyone has a different idea of how to define it.
Music is the great equilibrium, I’m starting to remember. I’m remembering how to listen. I’m remembering how to be. I’m remembering how to tap into the enhanced sensation of experiencing this world through music, and how good it feels to dance around, and to belt out to my favorite tunes, and to carelessly give Jim my hand and bound around the room in chaotic glory until the beat of the music drops. I’m remembering me.