This weekend was filled with lots of quality time with my parents, my lovely new family and with some other really incredible families that I had the opportunity to meet for work. Between all the planned outings and weekend chores, Future Husband and I didn’t have much one-on-one time. But when Jimmy began getting ready to head out of his gig at Boulder’s Open Mic Night, I opted to stay home to get a little down time. The past week hadn’t been nerve-wracking, but I’d been feeling a tad irritable for rather inexplicable reasons, and my stomach wasn’t agreeing with me. (The tasty birthday sweets I’d had at a family party probably hadn’t helped the situation.) Nonetheless, I’d felt “off,” and I wasn’t quite sure why.
Martha Stewart is by no stretch of the imagination, angelic in nature. I still cringe a bit when I open up her wedding site to glimpse at ideas that are always cuter than I wish they were. To her credit though, Martha Stewart may have wound up saving me some sanity. After Jimmy left for the show, I tried to gather my thoughts for the blog as I gazed at wedding dresses, then wandered on to the Boutiques app that the wonderful Future Husband downloaded for me on his iPad. I decided to wrap the hour I’d wasted online shopping (without purchasing, mind you, which I was very proud of) with a few DIY ideas, just for productivity’s sake. I wandered into the “Fashion and Beauty” section of Martha Stewart Weddings, and there I saw it. “Stress Management.”
“Am I? I’m not,” I thought. “But why don’t I just take a look-see at what suggestions they have to offer to curb stress, just in case I find myself in that situation later?” (Yes, mind games are effective.)
What I learned: I’m more self-aware than I thought. The 10 steps Martha recommended were all things I had been hoping to achieve before starting the week. I’d most hoped to have a chance to write, and low and behold, wise Martha recommended I “Jot Down Your Feelings.” An excessively long shower was following by a closet makeover session, thanks so Martha’s kind advice to “Pamper Yourself.” Creating a mantra, being okay with a little nerves, preparing oneself for how to response to stressful situations, meditating, exercising, date nights…They were all in there. All the things I had known I’d needed all along but had been neglecting were right there on the iPad.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
I’m learning a lot about myself through the engagement process. You’d have to ask Future Husband, but as I become more cognizant of what excites me and frustrates me and calms me, I’m becoming a better future wife to my one and only and a more level-headed, steady-handed person overall. The journey towards marriage is as much a personal journey as it is a communal one, I think, and there’s plenty more room to grow.